Repost: Advice That Sticks – The Passenger’s Guidance

imageEverybody has their own story to tell, some are good and some are bad. Yet, how often do we hear people regretting their choices in life in general? How often do we hear ourselves uttering the words “if only”? How much experience do we really need to learn from our mistakes? A lot, perhaps.

We are humans and we err.

At times, when failure is on our doorsteps and we are consistently living in denial, life knocks us down so we can see it from a different perspective. There is a turning point in our lives when we finally say “enough,” because we need to move forward. We cannot just stay in the mess and miss all that life has in store for us.

Life is a Learning Institution

They say, “there are no accidents” in life. Whatever mishaps we have right now could be the result of our choices – career failure, financial difficulties, relationship frustrations etc. All of these challenges can break us if we do not pull ourselves together.

Think about this: We are and cannot be the first nor the last person in the “Failures Department.” Have we not heard and read hundreds of articles, about leaders like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Mark Zuckerberg and the like? Have we not learned how they went through their individual challenges, how they worked hard to succeed? Look at the people around you– your high school classmate, who is now a successful banker, a recently promoted hardworking colleague, or your stay-at-home neighbor who now runs her own startup company.

Indeed, there are people around us who serve as cautionary tales of how near we are to failing or losing it completely, if we do not embrace change. Moreover, when we reach the point of exhaustion with our personal disappointments, we are more likely to open ourselves up. Little did we realise that that is a perfect time for us to start embracing life’s lesson that yes, there is also a graduation day for our failures.

That Who Holds the Steering Wheel

For those who are learning how to drive, you know that your instructor sits right next to you in the passenger seat. Your ultimate goal is to pass your driving tests for you to obtain your license. Compliance to traffic rules and your adherence to your guide’s instructions are required. You may have the control of the vehicle but your passenger is leading the way.

You feel that you are doing the best you can but you still could not pass your final test. You have seen your scorecard. You thought that your failures are too simple to deem the whole exercise a failure. But is it really the case? Have you been listening to their guidance, no matter how simple it may seem? If you have exhausted all your reasons and believe that, their reasons for failing you are beyond logic, think hard. What is ahead of you is your life and other people’s safety: will you be able to protect yourself from causing or being involved in a road accident? Will you be able to drive safely?

Remember that there are and always will be people in our lives who are good at being passengers. They can guide us on the ways they know the best or the easiest way to reach our ultimate destination. Those who care deeply about us will guide us throughout.

Consider our workplace. Those who work full time in the offices, those who spend considerable amount of time with their colleagues, know exactly how it feels like to be down sometimes. Our colleagues’ simple advice becomes our guide in situations we feel we cannot or do not control. Like me, you may have received some insightful advices over the years like the below:

Speak your mind, do not be afraid to be heard. You too have a voice.

When we lost our confidence to share opinions, we have to remember that even the hearing-impaired communicate through sign language. So why keep a potentially valuable idea to yourself?

The day I stopped asking you about your work is the same day I stopped caring about you.

When frustrated with consistent follow-ups from your colleagues take a deep breath and evaluate the situation. Could it be that you are not giving your best, missing your deadlines and deliver mediocre work? Why not consider the possibility that compromised work delivery is a mark on your performance, and a blemish to the team’s performance as a whole? Would this make you feel good about yourself? Absolutely not!

Nobody is indispensable.

When complacency sets in, think about those who are unemployed. Hundreds of people want to be in your position. If you lack the initiative to do more than your regular duties and responsibilities and grow within the company, do you think that they would prefer to retain mediocrity or rather employ someone who shows the drive to deliver above expectation? If you were the Management, what would you do?

You are your own work.

A company is not a place for pettiness, that when competition is too high, one will give way to jealousy, a dangerous behaviour that could sabotage your career. If you are experiencing such an issue, it is imperative that you compose yourself and bring tap into your corporate maturity. Realize the fact that Management does not have the time to babysit nor tolerate childishness. Prove that they hired a professional.

So there you have it. There are indeed many advices we can take note of everyday. However, as drivers of our own lives, we have the opportunity to listen and follow our passenger guide’s lead. Take the advice on board or stumble through life making our own mistakes. The choice is ours. Whatever choice you selected, just make sure you learn from the mistakes – whether they are your “guides” or your own.

This article is initially posted on my LinkedIn profile.

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Repost: Waiting for your Big Break

3.My Big Breakv2CWIn my last article, Advice That Sticks – The Passenger’s Guidance, I briefly mentioned how our colleagues act as cautionary tales for our own development. While it is true that everyone is replaceable, it is also important to note that it is in the best interest of a company to retain employees, especially those who deliver beyond expectation.

Getting hired means two things. First, your employer understands that your probationary period is a period of adjustment and learning and that they need to provide guidance for you to deliver quality results. Second, you have already taken your first step on the pathway to success and should continue on that path provided you work hard and fix your eye on our goal.

As we all know by now, the path to success is not as smooth as we would like.  There are numerous challenges along the way and your biggest adversary is time, a critical element that can either make you or break you. For those who have been working long enough, you may have met the two notorious bullies at any time in your place of work. Their powers are so effective that if you allow, you may lose your chance to succeed. Continue reading

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Under the Potipot Sun

20160621_052531 (1)We left home very early  on June 22nd for a road trip in Zambales to witness the sunrise, buy fresh seawater catch for the day and swim.

I was never a morning person. In fact, I love to sleep all throughout the day, if possible. Moreover, I only get to spend a month in a year in the country so I try to make everything count. Imagine my excitement to see the magnificent Philippine sunrise on our way to Zambales!

The picture above was taken at a petrol station in Subic. I could not remember the place but I think it is called “The Bar.” It was that time King Sun peeked through the cloudy morning. What a beautiful view! Continue reading

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Breaking the chains of Apathy

248769_318723208232720_678404428_nWe have our own personal fights in life, most of which are just hard to explain, others are just unbearable aside from sickness, poverty, political issues, safety and security, surviving discrimination. Yes, the list may go on.

I am one of the millions of individuals who have remotely witnessed how violence and terrorism brought down one country to another.

Yes, issues of unlimited terror pile up globally, causing fear and anxiety amongst us. Who would have thought, that attending a concert, or just enjoying your night-walk in a familiar place, could be the next day’s cover news all over media because shooters and bombers went out for their kill? How can you imagine that a killer bomb would disturb your regular prayer time in your place of worship? On the other hand, that, spending time watching your kids play football in the stadium would be a day of terror because a bomber detonates his device.

It is just too much. Continue reading

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Buried Treasures are always ready for Rediscovery

Too obsessed you can say but I am one of those who are living a lot more on a routine basis. It is not always a happy day but not terribly boring. It is just enough, for myself, that is. I do not fancy big parties, big crowd and malls. Not that I am timid but I find enjoyment with the company of few but close friends. Introverts like me find solitude extremely rewarding.

So one of the “boring” personal errands I enjoy is cleaning mailboxes. Yes, it is this time of the year when I normally clean my inbox, delete those unwanted emails, unsubscribe to marketing emails and just empty the trash folder.  And while I greatly appreciate Google’s email 15GB free mailbox capacity, the strong need to clean up mailboxes is just one of my obsessions.

Continue reading

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A woman’s told tale

Lola mama and the cuties

Lola mama and the cuties

Recently, I was very vocal about growing up, growing old and childless. I don’t mind actually because it is something I cannot control of. Instead, I treat it a matter of accepting my personal or biological limitations I should say. Being childless these days isn’t new. In fact, many career-oriented women may not conceive in their early 30s or if they even bring a child in the family, it would be in their early 40s, the sooner would be 24. As compared to generations ago, being a young mom is an achievement to ladies of the society. But I was not always like this. Continue reading

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Respect: Is it really that Costly?

We are living in an apathy-fuelled society where social norms are mandated by those who has “power.”
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Is it not interesting to note how others force you to “respect” them because they instigate fear?

Yes, there are just too many individuals who think that they are so powerful that would buy respect from people: crooked politicians, individuals engaged in terrorism, self-proclaimed leaders who knows nothing about proper management, etc.

Respect is when you highly regard someone because of his qualities. When you respect a person, you voluntarily protect his reputation without any coercion. But did you know that respect is not just about how you show it to another person but is something innate?

At times, we are are guilty of disrespecting others without even knowing it. Like me, you too may have fallen short sometimes:

1.  Household respect
The smallest unit of our society is family. Husbands and wives alike are encouraged to show respect at all times, in and out of the house.

There may be countless arguments but do you resolve the issues before you both go to bed? Or do you sleep on these issues and let pride take over your logic? Do you even share your so-called wrath to the world and broadcast it via social media, allowing people you think are your sympathisers to join you in your vigil?Are you happy that critics malign your partner whom you swore to protect all your life?

Continue reading

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