Time has weathered the pact gravely, gone, in the wind, unrequited.
The challenge of entering a permanent relationship such as marriage, is colossal. You get to discover new stuff on a daily basis because we are individuals who were brought up differently – culturally, traditionally or religiously. The couple’s union for a supposed perfect and long-lasting relationship can be torn easily apart for two reasons I learned this time.
Everybody has it. The question is, will you succumb to it?
No one has been born with mighty powers to remain strong – physically, mentally and emotionally. These are being cultivated as we grow old, with the help of our parents and those people around us, thereby, developing what we call our attributes and behavior. Weakness, whilst being cultivated as we age, remains an integral part of our personalities. Weakness brings out the human in us – when we err, when we cry for pain.
But we are humans and we are resilient, and we know how to create our way out to survive. And when successful, we look back to our pain and weakness as part of our learning curve is it not? Like something we ponder when we are alone, to not repeat the same mistakes – to err, to be hurt.
Yet many partners think that surrendering to weakness and pain will help them survive and get through marriage life’s teething moments. Again, we are humans, we err and we are weak. There is nothing wrong in being weak because it’s the truth. But when an erring partner succumb completely to his/her weaknesses resulting to forgotten promise to live through thin, then that’s when problems start. When not checked, these problems will bring forth calamity to the relationship resulting to doubts, cold treatment, mistrust and betrayal. And once trust is broken, it is so difficult to repair everything especially in the absence of love, which is supposed to cover a multitude of sin (1 Pet 4:8). Those who have been through painful marriages know exactly the end result – separation.
That which represents our self-importance, our consciousness. The problem lies when our ego is bigger than our being that it needs constant feeding. Partners who passionately boost their egos in the expense of others will never be contented in any relationship. He/she will eventually look for other ways to feed his/her hungry ego, causing him/her to betray the unsuspecting partner.
Both ways, all we need in the end is forgiveness.
For us to move forward and continue living.
Remember, life is a gift from God and we ought to be thankful every day because we do not know what is instore for us tomorrow. We are “a mist that appears for a little while then disappears. (Jas 4:13) It is therefore logical to value life according to how we are created and why we are created. And while mending a broken heart or a dented life, we should not stop from believing that life has more to offer. Pain will go away soon. He promised and His promise is sacred. (Rev 21:4)
For us to continue loving because without love, we are nothing (1 Cor 13:3).
Sixteen years ago, and I am still going…trying to patch things up from where I left, stronger and wiser.